Category: Fanfiction

FANDOM: Angel, Fred/Wes
SPOILERS: Season 3
DISCLAIMER: almighty Joss and Company owns Wesley, Fred, and any other characters from Angel and or Buffy.
NOTE: The title means ‘to illuminate the dark’. This is my idea of what could happen based on where we are now.

Part 1

It was something I would have never expected to happen. Something I could have never foreseen. Who would have ever thought Wesley would…

Now that I look back on it, I’m sure there must have been signs. What do people call it…hindsight bias? All those times I would see him staring at me, but I never understood how much he truly loved me. I was blind…in more ways than one.

It all started about three months ago, when Wesley first found the prophecy that said Angel would kill Connor. In the beginning Wesley had been wary of the prophecy, because as I learned after Darla, prophecies are trick things. Gunn and I were at first doubtful and too involved in ourselves that we didn’t believe him, until we saw the signs. It was at that point that Wesley decided Connor wasn’t safe at the hotel. Without talking to anyone, he fled with Connor to keep him safe, but unfortunately the world always has other plans. Sometime during the hurry to keep Angel’s son safe, Connor was taken by Holtz. Wesley had tried to do the best thing and in the process had done the worst.

Angel was angrier than I had ever seen him, and unknowingly in his grief he took it out on Wesley. For Wesley, even worse than losing Connor, was Angel’s disappointment in him. I think in that moment in his life, losing Connor, Angel’s disappointment, and losing…me was just too much and the last straw.

The next night he waited until everyone had left the hotel before he came to talk to me. “Fred?” I looked up from place on the settee as he sat down next to me. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry…for everything that I…I’ve done. I hope you’ll forgive me.”

I must have smiled at him, because for a split second, one that I almost didn’t notice, his face lit up for the first time in days. “Wesley,” I started, “there is nothing to forgive. What happened wasn’t your fault. You were just trying to save Connor and help all of us, like you always do.”

He nodded and said a simple, “Yes.” I don’t think he believed me in his heart, but for my sake, he pretended he did. He gave me a hug that seemed to last a couple of seconds longer than normal, before he pried himself away.

He looked into my eyes. “I love you, Fred.” He waited for a second and watched me for a response I couldn’t give him. I couldn’t tell him what I felt in my heart. Then, as an afterthought he added, “Goodbye, Fred.”

I knew I should’ve said something, but I didn’t. I just sat there and watched as he walked away taking the guilt, grief, and weight of the world away. That was the last time I ever saw him with us. The next day he never came to work. When we went to his apartment to check on him, he was gone. Wesley had left without a trace.

The next time I saw him was a month later on the side of the enemy. I would have never believed that Wesley would side with Holtz. This new Wesley was different somehow. It seemed as if he had aged a year within a month. This was not my Wesley, the Wesley I wanted back, and the Wesley I missed dearly. That Wesley was gone.

Part 2

It’s silly how time changes your perspective on circumstances. While Wesley was still with us I never thought closely about our relationship. In self-defense after the Billy incident I kept my feelings hidden deep inside, even from myself. I kept myself enraptured only in feelings that were easy, obvious, and not what was right under my nose. First, in my hero-worship and puppy dog love of Angel, then my high school relationship with Gunn. The whole time I was lost to the other two, Wesley watched over me and waited for the turn he thought would eventually come.

Gunn told me a week after Wesley’s… decision, how much Wesley really loved me. He told me about Wesley’s conversation with him after we had gotten in trouble with the magnolia tree. He said Wesley had been really upset knowing that I could have been seriously hurt. Wesley had made Gunn promise then and there that I would never get hurt.

Hearing these words and ideas coming from Gunn made my stomach churn and my heart flutter. It was then that my heart spoke to me. For the first time I realized what love really is. Love wasn’t only admiring someone because they saved your life or gushing over someone because they paid you a compliment. Instead, love was all of these things and more. Love was when your heart ached when the other person was gone, but at the same time you were perfectly content to just be in each other’s presence. Love was caring and protecting someone above your own life. It was when seeing the other person made you dizzy and all you could see was them.

I felt like I’d had my eyes covered and now I could see again. I was now able to see everything I had looked over before. I could see the way Wes always watched over, cared, and protected me. The way his eyes lit up every time he saw me. The most wonderful thing was in his eyes I was perfect. I spent the next few days pondering my new feelings in what Cordelia called a funk, until I finally decided I couldn’t go on living a lie. I had to tell Gunn. It was hard, but it had to be done.

A month after Wesley left I awoke at the same time I had every night since I had first discovered my hidden feelings. I realized this time was completely different when I jumped out of bed and was instantly awake. I tiptoed down the hall careful not to wake Angel. I looked into Angel’s room and wasn’t surprised when I saw it empty. Angel had been going for walks as his way to release pain and brood where no one would see him. With the thought that I was now alone in the hotel my heart climbed, despite the knowledge that Angel had Lorne put a barrier spell on the hotel.

I worked my way off the last step on the stairs and followed the dim light coming from behind the hotel counter. Wesley’s office.

I stood halfway outside the door and looking halfway into the office. It was him. I watched as Wesley rummaged quietly through the books on his bookshelf. He was obviously looking for a particular book. I was so close to him, yet so far away. I yearned to speak, touch, or even look into his eyes again. He finally grabbed the book he’d been searching for and stuffed it into the satchel he had brought. He hurriedly turned around to leave and froze when he saw me standing at the door.

I stepped out of my shadow. “Wesley,” I said with a slight tremor. He just stared at me in awe, as if I was an angel and didn’t say a word. I tried again, “Wesley?”

He stepped forward to get out of the office and at the same time he tried to keep his distance. I quickly sneaked a peek at the title of the book he was taking. When I didn’t budge out of his way, he stepped back again. “Fred, move out of my way.”

“No.”

He seemed to be considering his options before he responded again. “Fred, move out of my way.” He paused before letting out the words he didn’t want to pass his lips. “Don’t make me…”

I quickly interrupted, despite the slight shaking in my fingertips. “Or else you’ll do what, Wesley?” I held my ground.

We squared off and my eyes wandered from his to take in the rest of his appearance. I needed to make sure he was fine and at the same time temporarily satisfy my own curiosity. My eyes stalled on what looked like a deep gash on his upper arm coming from underneath his shirt. He caught my gaze at what I was looking at as I reached out and touched him in comfort. He stepped back from my touch in shock and this time he was no longer afraid to get close to me. He hurried past me and out of the past he was trying to escape.

“Wesley!” I called his name hoping he wouldn’t leave me, but nothing would stop what he felt he had to do.

I turned around to face the empty room that still contained his overpowering energy. My eyes caught sight of his jacket he’d left on the chair in his hurry. I grabbed it and put it on and in the process surrounding myself with him. I went back to my room and settled into the covers. I wrapped them tightly around me. In the back of my mind I wondered if Wesley had covers wherever he spent his nights.

I thought about Wesley’s steely eyes and calculated look. The way his eyes held no emotion or feeling. The way he stared at me with no reflection of the former Wesley. Even the scar on his arm looked deep, old, and unhealed. His skin and eyes had been cold, until he repelled from my warmth and touch. It was if I had been the spell to knock him from his trance. His eyes had come alive again before me.

My eyes began to water as I recalled all the images one by one. At that point I started crying and couldn’t stop. I wrapped myself in his jacket that smelled of him and his purgatory. I cried for Wesley’s pain that I could feel on the inside and everything I couldn’t see on the outside. I also cried for myself. I cried for everything I had never told him and couldn’t anymore. Mostly I cried at the thought that the man I loved, needed, and wanted most was gone.

Suddenly, I stopped crying and wiped away the tears from my eyes onto Wesley’s jacket sleeve. Two thoughts hit my mind at the same time. First, what did Wesley need a book on alternate dimensions for?  Second, how did Wesley get past Lorne’s spell that was specifically in place to block anyone from entering the hotel who was set out to harm us?

TO BE CONTINUED…

FANDOM: Angel, illness Fred/Wes
SPOILERS: Season 3
DISCLAIMER: almighty Joss and Company owns Wesley, look Fred, and any other characters from Angel and or Buffy.

They haunted him in his dreams.  Every night was the same… Walking from the car with Connor warmly nuzzled in his arms.  Then Justine with the knife and taking Connor away.  And then the worst…

As he lay close to death on the grass, he could feel the life drizzling out of his throat.  The sadness in his heart yearned for it.  He welcomed the end.  It was always at that time that they all showed up to stand over him.

Gunn, Fred, Angel… even Cordelia.  They were strings always tieing him to sanity and the world.  They had always been there for each other, and he had failed them.  Gunn’s string had been cut weeks ago and Angel’s had been cut when Connor was lost.  He reached out to touch them and they reached back, but they were always centimeters away.  The string between him and Cordeila was stretching and he couldn’t do anything about it.  Then, in a flash it snapped.  There was only one string left and he could feel it begin to stretch and-

Wesley awoke gasping for air and in a cold sweat.  He stumbled out of bed and into the darkness of the room.  All the blinds in the apartment had been closed tight for a week.  He blindly made his way to the bathroom before emptying what little he’d eaten the day before into the toilet.  He turned on the light and winced at the brightness.  Washing off his face he looked into the mirror.  The scar on his neck sneered back from the mirror.  Everyday he woke up to its glare.  It reminded him of the worst thing he’d ever done.

Wesley slammed the light switch off and hurried into the living room, forgetting there was another mirror there.  Once again his reflection mocked him and threatened to drive him crazy.  He could feel something surging and bubbling beneath the surface.  It wanted to take hold and scald him.  It wanted to drive him under.  It wanted to take over.

It had already tried a couple of times.  The tight watch and control he’d held since he was a child, to make sure it didn’t break through and he’d be like his father, had been unleashed in one moment.  All that work had been broken by Billy and unleashed him on who he loved more than anything.  It was at that moment he realized he was capable of the thing he most hated.  He’d gotten a taste for it then, and it had scared him to the core.  Was he a man like his father?  What kind of man was he?

Then at the ballet, when the Count had taken hold of him, It had resurfaced again.  It had been waiting near the surface since then, waiting for another chance.  It was the true evil that didn’t care when it resurfaced for the third time and attacked Lorne.  It wanted more control.  Now he knew how Angel felt, constantly fighting against an invisible force within you.  Within him.  It was within him.  It wanted to come out and drive him under.  It wanted to take over.  He wanted to let it…

It would be so much easier to let it out and not fight,.  Not care and let it drive him into darkness.  It would be so easy to be his father and give in.  Be what he feared most.

He stared at the gash in the mirror.  It bubbled beneath the surface…and erupted.  In a moment of rage he slammed his hands into the mirror.  Over and over he slammed at himself in the mirror.  He smashed the mirror into a fractured and hollow structure of what it was.  Glass flew everywhere.  A knock came from the door.  Wesley stopped pounding and stared numbly at the empty frame, except for a few jagged remains of it’s former self that still clung to the frame.

The pounding intensified.  “Wesley?”  The voice sounded vaguely familiar.  The back of his mind that still clung on told him it was Fred.  “Wesley?  Open the door.  Let me in.”  She pounded again and again.

In order to make the noise go away, he reluctantly opened the door.  Fred stood outside with an expression of worry, surprise, and shock all in one.

She looked at his hands that were dripping blood on the floor.  “Oh my god.  What did you do, Wesley?”  When he didn’t reply she grabbed his wrist and started to pull him towards the bathroom.  “Come on, we have to get you-”

“No,” he mumbled to himself.

“Wesley, we have to stop-”

“No!”  He pulled from her grasp.  “Get out.”

“Wesley-”

He grabbed a piece of glass from the floor and charged at her.  He stood poised above her.  “Get out!”

Fred jumped back in fear that was also reflected in her eyes.  She hurried out of the apartment as he slammed the door on her heels.  Wesley pressed his body up against the cool door.  He couldn’t stop shaking from the thought of what he’d just done.  He couldn’t believe it had come out again.  The piece of glass fell to the floor and his body collapsed to the ground.  It was winning…

THE END

FANDOM:  Angel, advice Fred/Wes
DISCLAIMER: These are not mine, sickness bliddy blah, stuffy scone. But they’re not Joss’ either! He’s mean to them, for now anyway.
AUTHOR’S NOTES: This story is as a result of Biology Lab and Valentine’s Day. A cross between the two.

Wesley smiled to himself and hummed to his own made-up tune as he plugged in and set up the microscope on his desk. He checked to make sure everything was perfect for his surprise. The sound of footsteps gliding down the main stairs in the lobby shocked him out of his joy. He hurried to make sure the slide was set up correctly and that the microscope was out of focus. Before she even spoke he knew she was standing at his office door. He could feel her studying him suspiciously. She knew he had something planned. When he finally looked up his mind registered on the fact that she was wearing a brand new red shirt and a pair of jeans. She was his heavenly vision.

“Was there something you wanted me to help you with? ” She smiled warmly at him and Wesley couldn’t help but blush.

“Um…Yes. ” He motioned towards the desk. She followed his gaze and moved over to peer into the microscope he had set up. As she leaned over a few loose strands of hair fell out of place and Wesley was put into a trance just watching her. He leaned in a little closer. “You may have to put it into focus. ” He spoke only loud enough so she could hear clearly. Fred nodded in understanding and reached for the focus knob.

Out of nowhere Wesley was hit with a waft of fragranced air from her movement. Suddenly he was there again, sitting beside Fred as she peered into a microscope with a slide containing Billy’s blood. A wave of nausea and fear ran through his body. Even though it had happened a little more than a year ago, he instinctively backed away from Fred and out of his trance.

A small gasp from Fred beside him sent him even further from his nightmare. “Do you see anything?” He asked cautiously.

Fred nodded as she pulled back from looking at the now in-focus heart in the microscope. “It’s so pretty, Wesley,” she said at a loss for words.

“You’re welcome, ” he grinned in response to her thanks. “It’s the gametophyte of a fern. It is the place where the fern grows into what we see or know to be a fern… ”

Fred nodded politely and just listened to him explain, then she responded. “I know what it is, ” she smiled. Wesley gave a confused look and the physics major clarified. “I did take biology in college, Wes. The fern gametophyte contains the gametes that grow into the adult plant. Kinda like the mother, ya know? It also happens to be in the shape of a heart, then you dyed it red, red being the international color of love, an’ all. ”

Wesley just stared and marveled at the woman he loved. Then he noticed that Fred had begun to move in closer to him so she was now only an inch away. With a sense of fear and apprehension still on the surface, Wesley backed away and felt his back hit the wall behind him.

“Speaking of old biology classes – well, actually, human physiology and anatomy but you get the idea – do you know that the fingertips are one of the most sensitive parts of the human body? ” She moved forward once again and lightly tickled her fingertips down his arm and with the lightest yet most seductive touch traced his palm down to his fingers causing Wesley to shiver. At the same time Wesley’s fingertips of his other hand brushed across the bare skin of her stomach.

“Well, there are other sensitive parts of the body, as well. Do you know what the most sensitive part of the body is?” Wesley, despite knowing the answer to her question, couldn’t move. Fred leaned in and brushed her lips lightly across his lips, like a ghost’s touch, leaving Wesley wanting more. Then she pulled back, her fingers laced behind his neck, and kissed him on the cheek with a shy giggle. “Thank you, I needed to brush up on biology. Have I told you that I loved you today?”

Wesley shook his head with a grin, “Not that I can recall… ”

“No? Then, I love you. Happy Valentine’s Day, Wesley. ”

THE END

FANDOM: Buffy, for sale Willow/Oz
SPOILERS: Season 4
DISCLAIMER: Oz and Willow belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc
NOTE: Named for ANOTHER Vertical Horizon song, On the Sea. You can look up stones and their meanings here:
http://www.brightnewdawn.com/private/crystal_cavern.htm

~*Part 1*~

Thoughts in * *.

November 14, 1999

Willow stood in her boyfriend’s room, leaning against the wall, crying. Outside she could hear his van’s engine start, then cut off. She had a renewal of hope, and she held in her crying and sorrow for the hope that he was coming back. Her world exploded when she realized he really was leaving, when the van started again, and she could hear it leaving down the road.

She slowly took a look around his room. Everything reminded her of him, and events they had shared. Pictures of when they had gone to the beach with Cordelia and Xander almost a year ago. A ticket from their first date to the movies. A guitar pick.

She had to escape she had to get out of there. Too many memories were exploding in her head, and pain came with them. She fell to her knees crying on his bed. She took a deep breath, and inhaled the scent of Oz. It just made her cry harder. Willow quickly got up and ran, she opened the door and ran down the stairs. She had to get out of there. A thought replayed over and over in her head. *I love him, and now he’s gone. I love him and now he’s gone. I love him and now he’s gone…*

~~~~~~

December 11, 1999

Oz sat on a bench and finished off his lunch for the day. He threw the rest in the garbage can. He wasn’t very hungry. It was two weeks before Christmas, and instead of being with Willow, he was in Tibet. Even though he wasn’t with her physically, his mind was all Willow. All his thoughts today had been going to Willow.

Oz walked down the street of the market place. He eyed the little stores, and stopped at a stand with beautiful hand woven fabric. *Willow would love that.* He pointed and asked the woman ‘how much’, and was surprised when she answered in broken English. She gave an outrageous price, and Oz shook his head.

He started to turn around, when the woman grabbed his arm. “Trade?” She asked.

Oz stopped. “For what?”

“Record? Like this?” She pointed to an old rock and roll record.

Oz smiled. “Sure. I’ll be back later.” The woman nodded. *I knew that Radiohead record would come in handy.*

Oz continued down the road taking in the different products in the market. It had been almost two weeks since he had settled in, and sent for his stuff from Devon. He hoped Willow was doing okay, and he hadn’t hurt her more when his stuff suddenly disappeared.

A voice interrupted his thoughts as he continued walking along. “Sir?” He turned to see a woman behind a table of herbs and a fire. “Burn an herb for a friend, relative?”

Oz shook his head. “No, thank you.” He turned around and continued walking.

“For a girlfriend far away?”

Oz stopped in midstep and turned around and walked up to the table. The woman smiled warmly and mischievously. “My name is Aradia.”

“How much?”

“For you? Free.” Oz couldn’t believe it. “What do you want for your lady friend? Love?”

Oz said the first thing that came to mind. “Happiness. I just want her to be happy.”

The woman nodded. She handed him an herb. “Cypress.” Then she handed him a stone. “Bloodstone, you keep, after throw herb into fire.” (Author’s Note: Cypress is for happiness, or peace. But bloodstone isn’t. So, what is it for then? Look it up. Link to look it up, available in disclaimer above. Pay attention to 5th paragraph.)

She grabbed his hand and covered it with hers. “Close your eyes.” Oz looked into her eyes and swore he saw stars of knowledge in them. He slowly closed them. “Now see her face.” Oz imagined Willow and all his love for her. “Now open eyes and throw herb into fire.”

Oz tossed the herb, and it landed right in the middle. A puff of yellow smoke exploded out. Everyone in the market place turned to look, and then hid away. Oz looked back at the woman, Aradia, and she was gone.

******

Elsewhere, in Sunnydale, Willow sits on the floor of a soda room. Tara grabs Willow’s hand and they interlock fingers. The soda machine spins and blocks the door. They look into each other’s eyes. Willow has a feeling. A feeling she had missed since Oz left.

~~~~~~

March 20, 2000

Oz started the car and drove, trying to get as far away as he could. He looked at the bloodstone still on his dashboard from the day he got it. He couldn’t bear to look at it. Willow was happy, it had done what he wanted. He stared through the car window at the road in front of him. All he saw was the world like paintings, just images going by. A tear rolled down his cheek. A tear of loneliness and abandonment. She wanted someone else. And at that moment he realized two things were true still. He still wanted her to be happy. But he needed her. Nothing else mattered.

~*Part 2*~

March 19, 2001

Oz opened the door to his apartment, went in, and locked the door. He threw the keys on the floor next to the lamp table. He quickly shrugged out of his work uniform, until he was down to his boxers, and threw it to the floor along with his keys.

He went into his room, and grabbed a clean shirt from the bed, and went back to the living room. He glanced at the clock. 1 AM Oz groaned. God, he was so tired. He went to the fridge and grabbed a beer, took a long sip, and set the empty bottle on the lamp table. He laid down on the couch, and instantly fell asleep.

******

Willow grabbed Tara’s hand and pulled her along smiling. She closed the door to Tara’s room. They kissed sweetly, and Willow smiled.

“Are you okay? With this?”

Tara nodded. “A…a bit nervous.”

Willow pulled Tara to sit on the bed beside her. “It’ll be okay. I love you.” She started tracing circles on Tara’s hand.

Tara whispered. “I love you, too.” She took the initiative and moved forward and they kissed. Willow and Tara moved backwards onto the bed.

~~~~~~

March 20, 2001

Oz slowly opened his eyes to the light pouring in through the window. He blinked, as he got up and swayed. He had a killer headache. He stumbled along to the kitchen, and grabbed a glass of water, and an aspirin.

He glanced at the clock beside the couch, as he put the cup in the sink. Instead he spotted the framed picture he kept of Willow and himself. *Exactly a year…* He went over and pushed the frame to the ground and out of sight. *Maybe I can get some more sleep in.* He laid back down on the couch, and tried to will himself back to painless sleep.

~*Part 3*~

March 20, 2001

Oz was awakened at the sound of the door to his apartment being pounded on.

“I’m coming!” He opened the door and found one of his coworkers at the door.

“Hi. I thought I’d come by, and… Are you working today?” He shook his head. “You want to go out for lunch?”

Oz sighed. “Solace… I can’t…”

She interrupted. “Why not? You don’t have a girlfriend… Do you?”

Oz shook his head. “No.”

“Then come on…” She grabbed his hand, and Oz felt something he hadn’t felt in over a year. “Please?”

Oz nodded. “Okay.” He opened the door and let her in. “Wait here.”

He grabbed his uniform, and keys from the floor and made his way to his room, and bathroom. Solace took the opportunity to look around. She spotted the beer bottle on the table, and then noticed that seven more were in the trash can.

*I didn’t know he drank.* She thought to herself. *He seems so nice, really quiet.* She smiled to herself. *And such a cutie.*

She continued looking around, and noticed everything was clean and in its place. Unusual for a guy.

Ten minutes later Oz was ready. “So, where do you want to go?” She asked him.

Oz thought for a moment. “Wherever you want.” It was time for him to get on with his life.

******

Solace took a sip of her soda. “So…” What could she say? “Where did you live before here?”

“Uh… Sunnydale.”

“Oh! I know that town. Isn’t that the town, that mysteriously went quiet two Christmas’ ago?”

Oz shrugged. “I guess so. I’m not sure. I wasn’t there at that time.”

“Oh. Where were you?”

Oz went silent. “Traveling.”

Solace decided not to question him any further. It was obvious he didn’t want to talk about it. “Ready to go?”

Oz noticed he was alienating her. But he just couldn’t tell her, yet. “Actually, you want to go watch a movie?”

She smiled. “Sure.” She grabbed his hand, and they both went together.

******

They stood together, at Oz’s front door. “So, I had a great night. How about you?”

Oz nodded. “It was good. I want to thank you for it. For getting me out. I had fun.”

She smiled. “That’s great. Do you want to…again tomorrow?”

“Okay.”

“Well, I guess that’s it. I’ll call you tomorrow. Thanks for going out with me, Oz.” She walked down the hall, and turned around the corner.

Oz felt happy. For once, in a long while. He thought he had found someone else. Someone not Willow.

~*Part 4*~

March 20, 2001

Evening

Oz closed the door as he watched Solace walk down the hall. He was floating on cloud nine. He hadn’t been this excited about a girl since, Willow. Solace was great. It was a chance to start over with someone, to not let the things that went wrong with Willow, happen again.

Oz looked at the fridge, then at the couch. *No, not anymore.* He walked to the back of the apartment and his bedroom. Oz wasn’t going to sleep on the couch anymore.

******

March 20, 2001
Morning

Willow woke up and looked over at Tara soundly sleeping. It reminded her of when she used to watch Oz sleep, and he used to watch her. He had always slept with his arms around her, holding her close. Afraid to let go, in case she might leave him. *And I did.* Willow suddenly felt sad. *I was his world, and I left him when he tried to make everything better…for us.*

“What are you thinking about?”

Willow suddenly came back to reality. “I…About you sleeping.” She lied. “You looked so cute.”

Tara smiled, and leaned in for a kiss. Willow went with the flow, but thoughts of Oz were on the back of her mind. *What is wrong with me? I’m with Tara now.* Then she suddenly realized. Everything felt different. She had been with Tara for a year, and she still had the same feelings for her, that she had when she met her. Nothing had changed. But last night had opened something, last night had made her mind clearer. Something was definitely different between Tara…and Oz.

“Willow? I…I need to tell you something.” Willow looked her in the eyes. “I’m going to be gone for a couple weeks. I’m going to this Wicca camp for spring break. I signed up for it last year.”

“How long?”

“Three weeks.” Willow nodded. “So, you don’t mind?”

Willow shook her head. “No, go. Show them how it’s done…” Willow instantly regretted those words, as they brought her back to Oz, and their last night.

~*Part 5*~

Three Months Later

June 25, 2001

Oz and Solace sat together on the beach looking out at the water. Oz was happy, happier then he had been the first month she had known him. She could sense it. Their relationship was moving on so many levels.

Oz was finally moving along, and he knew it. He was moving past Willow. As much as he hated to admit it, she was becoming a thing of the past. There was differences between Willow and Solace, and he loved them both. But with Willow it seemed like their relationship was written in the stars, but she didn’t want him, and now it was over. Their relationship was moving so much faster than his and Willow’s had ever done. And he wasn’t sure if all those things made it better or worse.

She nudged him in the shoulder. “Oz? What are you thinking about?”

Oz turned to look at her with a smile on his face. “Our relationship. You.”

She smiled playfully. “And how is it? Do you like it?”

Oz nodded. “Yeah.” He leaned over and they kissed sweetly. Oz’s hand brushed her stomach, and she laughed against his lips. Oz pulled back. “What?”

“That tickles.” Oz smiled, and reached for her stomach again, but she squirmed out of the way. She jumped up. “You’ll have to catch me first!” She yelled as she ran down the beach.

Oz stood up. “You know I’ll get you.”

He took off running after her down the beach. After a couple of minutes she tired down, and Oz caught up.

“Okay. I give up.” She lifted her hands up, so her stomach was visible below her shirt. “Go ahead.”

Oz looked at her stomach, then looked at her face. He looked her in the eyes. All of a sudden, everything became clear. For both of them. They both stepped forward, and lips met lips. Solace pulled him to the sand with her, and Oz didn’t oblige. Lips were on lips. His hands were on her back…everywhere. They were lost in the moment.

Suddenly, Oz felt different. Out of mind, out of body. Then, he realized it was night, it was also a full moon. What if he was wolfing out? He had to stop, he had to get away from her. He couldn’t hurt her, like he had hurt Willow.

Oz pulled away. “What…What’s wrong?”

“I…I have to go. I can’t…”

Solace looked at him upset. “Is it me?”

Oz was quick to reply. “No.”

“Is it your old girlfriend?”

“No. It’s me… I just can’t…not now.”

He stood up and took off. Why did it always have to curse him? Everywhere he went.

He could hear Solace running after him. “Oz! Wait!”

He stopped. “I need you to leave me alone. I’m dangerous. I can’t…”

She shook her head an interrupted him. “I won’t. That may have worked on your old girlfriend. But I won’t let you do this alone. You need help, and I will help you. You just have to tell me what’s wrong. Please?” Her voice broke. “Oz… I love you. I don’t want to lose you.”

She stepped up and wrapped her arms around him. Oz laid on her shoulder. He needed someone.

~*Part 6*~

A Week Earlier – than the last part, 😉
June 18, 2001

Willow slowly knocked on Tara’s door. She had to do this. She couldn’t take it much longer.

“Willow. It’s great to see you.”

Willow stepped in, and they hugged. Then, Willow broke the silence. “Tara… We need to talk.”

Tara’s face quickly went sad. “Okay. A-about what?”

Willow sighed. “Tara… I…I’m sorry. But I want to break up.”

“You still think about him…don’t you?”

Willow nodded. “I’m sorry. But our relationship just isn’t what I thought it was. I do love you. But I’ve found out that I’m not in love with you. Do you understand?”

Tara nodded. “Yeah.” Tears fell down her cheeks. “I understand.”

“Tara, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that I’ve led you on for so long. I wasn’t sure myself what I wanted. We can still be friends, right?”

“I’m glad you’ve realized it. I saw it a long time ago, but I just… I love you, and I knew you would find out on your own.”

“Thank you.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“I’m going to find Oz.”

******

When Buffy came home, Willow was already packing.

“Willow? Where are you going?”

She didn’t even look up. “I’m going to find Oz.”

“How…”

“I broke up with Tara. And I called Devon. He says Oz has been living in LA”

“Wait… Slow down. Why did you break up with Tara?”

“I… I still love Oz. I love Tara, too. But I’ve realized it’s not the same. I love Tara…like I love you. I just needed to realize that. I needed time.”

Buffy nodded. “So, now you’re going to find Oz? What if he’s already moved on?”

Willow looked her in the eyes. “I don’t know.”

~*Part 7*~

A week after Willow leaves Sunnydale.

June 25, 2001

“So, this is her?” Solace asked as she looked at a picture of Oz and a pretty red head. “This is Willow?” Oz nodded. “You guys look so much in love.”

Oz could feel his heart breaking all over again. “Yeah.”

“So, what happened?”

Oz sighed. He was going to have to tell her sooner or later. “From the beginning?”

Solace smiled. “Preferably.”

Oz nodded. *It’s going to be a long night.*

******

“So… So, you’re a werewolf?” It was hard to believe.

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

“Listen. If you want to break up, or want me to leave you alone. I…I can do that.”

Solace looked at him confused. “This doesn’t change anything. I wanted to know about your life. I want to be able to help you.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. But Oz, what happened with you and Willow. It wasn’t your fault. You loved her, and if you hadn’t been a werewolf, I know it would have never happened between you and Veruca. You said yourself you couldn’t stop. That doesn’t sound like you were in control. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I wish I could believe that.”

Solace looked at him sadly, and placed her hand on top of his. “It’s true.” Then, she kissed him slowly on the lips, and pulled back. “I love you, and I’m not worried. I know you.”

“I love you, too.”

“I know.”

Oz suddenly felt like the shy one in the relationship. “And I want to show you how much…”

Solace stopped and shook her head. “Oz, you don’t have to. I understand. I’m ready, but I don’t want to push you into anything. You still need time.”

“I’m done with time. I’m ready, and you’re ready.”

******

Oz woke up in his bed to a banging on his front door. Someone was sleeping next to him. He slowly got out of bed, grabbed his pants, and put them on. He opened the door, and was shocked.

“Willow?”

“Oz.” Willow hugged him. “I’m glad I found you.”

Then, she froze and looked behind him. Oz turned around and saw Solace. She was wearing his boxers and his T-shirt.

“Oh my god. I’m…I’m sorry.” She realized what this meant. Willow turned around, and ran back down the hall.

Oz turned to look at Solace and then ran after Willow. He caught up to her in the lobby, and grabbed her by the arm. “Willow, wait.”

Willow pulled out of his grasp, and turned around. She had tears running down her face. “How could I have been so stupid?” She thought to herself.

“Willow? What are you doing here?”

“I came for you. I broke up with Tara.” Willow argued with herself. “How could I have thought you’d just be waiting for me?”

“Why Willow?”

Willow broke out. “Because I love you, Oz. I was just too stupid to realize it. All that time you were gone, I thought you were never coming back. So, I tried to move on, I tried to find someone else. I confused myself with actually loving Tara, and being in love with her. And then… when you came back, I thought I wanted her. I knew her. I didn’t know you. I forgot what we had…what we have. I was confused…and scared that for once, I didn’t know who you were. We’d both changed. But it doesn’t matter now.” Willow turned around and ran out of the building.

Oz walked back to his apartment, and met up with Solace coming out. She was fully dressed.

“Where are you going?”

Solace sighed. “Oz, you need to be with her. I can tell you still love each other. And you don’t know it, yet, but you’re relationship is meant to be.” Oz looked into her eyes and saw stars of knowledge in them. She leaned over and whispered in his ear. “She’s ready for you.” Then, she kissed him lightly on the lips. “I love you, Oz. Bye.”

She went around the corner, and left him forever. Oz lay his forehead on the wall sadly. “Damn.”

~*Part 8*~

June 26, 2001

Willow threw everything into her suitcase as fast as she could. She was hurt. She wasn’t going to go through this again. Thinking about him, knowing he couldn’t be with her. It was just like when he left almost two years ago… She had to get out of there, and back to Sunnydale. Where could she go where she wouldn’t remember him? Fresh tears fell down her face as she remembered what she had seen this morning. Oz had moved on, right when she really wanted him. She felt selfish. How could she just expect him to wait for her forever…she hadn’t.

Willow looked around the room to make sure she had everything, and left. She walked down the hallway to the elevator, and set her suitcase down. She heard someone pounding on doors down the hall, and then yelling. She turned around and went to see what was going on. Oz was down the hall knocking on doors, asking for her. Through everything he still wanted her.

**No fog clear in the moonlight
The stars shine so bright now’s the time**

“Oz, stop.”

He turned at the sound of her voice. “Willow?”

“What are you doing?”

Oz was confused. “Looking for you.”

She shook her head. “Oz, don’t do this. You have someone else, someone who loves you.”

“I love *you*.”

**I close my eyes – soft wind touch my face
Cool sand upon the place where I once kissed you**

“No. You can’t just give up everything…”

Oz interrupted her. “Solace broke up with me.”

Willow stopped and looked at him, sadly. “Why?”

“She said we were still in love with each other. That we’re meant to be.”

**And held you close
Now I will reach for the stars
Because Oh my love, that’s where you are**

She could hear the determination in his voice. “Meant to be?” She looked at him, feeling sad that he still believed they could be together. “How can that be? All the things we’ve gone through, that have pushed us apart. And you still believe…in us?”

“You don’t?” She shook her head fiercely, trying not to let him see what she actually felt inside. “Why are you trying to push me away?”

“I-I’m not.” She tried to hold her ground.

Oz looked her in the eyes. “You are.”

**Though the storms of black night rage on
I still see your face
I still feel your lips on mine
And though my heart feels all alone without you
I still hear you sing to me
I still hear your voice on the sea**

She didn’t know what to say. “Good-bye, Oz.” She stepped into the elevator, and the doors closed behind her. As soon as she was free from his sight, she let all the emotion go. *I won’t ever see him again…* A few tears slipped down her cheeks. The elevator dinged to alert her that she was in the lobby. She quickly wiped away her tears, so they weren’t visible. Out of the elevator she went straight to the front desk to sign out. She had to use all of her strength to not turn around and run back upstairs.

** Waves crash break the silence
Gulls cry a song of lament
I walk on through the stormy night
The air cries flash of anger
Dark night enshrouds the stranger all alone without you
Now I will reach for the stars
Because Oh my love, that’s where you are **

Oz watched the elevator doors close. It was happening again. He was losing her, again. He wouldn’t let her go this time. She had come to him. Even if she wouldn’t admit it. They needed each other. He had to go after her. Oz ran to the emergency stairs.

“Willow!” She wouldn’t turn around. “Willow, wait. Please.”

**Lay you, lay you down
Lay you, lay you down
Lay you, lay you down
Lay you, lay you down
Lay you, lay you down
Lay you, lay you down
Lay you, lay you down
Lay you, lay you down**

He grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her around. He stood looking at her. Waiting. She stood looking at him. Waiting. There were both waiting for an eternity, for someone to make a move.

He hesitated for a moment, and leaned into a full force kiss. God, it had been so long. Everything he hadn’t done with her for two years came in full passion. His arms wrapped around her and he pulled her tightly against him. In the back of his mind he realized she wasn’t pulling away, and that was good. This was the way everything was supposed to be. After a minute they slowly parted, and looked around. Everyone in the hotel was looking at them.

“Oz?” Willow called him.

“Hm..?”

“I still haven’t turned in my room key.” Oz turned around eyeing her. What was she suggesting? She leaned over and whispered in his ear, softly. “You want to go upstairs?”

Oz blushed behind his ears and nodded. Willow smiled. Oz was back, and their relationship was back. They both hurried hand in hand up to her room.

******

Next Morning
June 27, 2001

**No fog clear in the moonlight
The stars shine so bright now’s the time
I close my eyes – soft wind touching my face
Cool sand upon the place where I once kissed you
And held you close
Now I will reach for the stars
Because Oh my love, that’s where you are**

Willow lay in Oz’s arms. She felt warm, tingly, and completely safe. Oz was still asleep, but she liked watching him sleep. Her eyes caught on a green stone with red flecks tied on a leather cord around his neck. She hadn’t noticed it when they had been busy…with other things… She sat up, careful not to wake him. It looked like a bloodstone.

A voice startled her out of her thoughts. “It’s a bloodstone.”

Willow smiled. “Good morning. Or is it afternoon?”

Oz pulled her back down with him. “Afternoon.”

“Where did you get it?” She asked, looking at the green stone.

Oz looked at it as if it reminded him of something sad. “A woman in Tibet offered to burn an herb for me, and let me keep this stone as part of it.”

“What did you burn an herb for?” Willow asked curious.

**Though the storms of black night rage on
I still see your face
I still feel your lips on mine
And though my heart feels all alone without you
I still hear you sing to me
I still hear your voice on the sea **

“I burned it for you.” At Willow’s look, he clarified. “It was almost Christmas, and I wanted to come back to you, but I knew I wasn’t ready. I thought you would be sad, missing me. And I wanted you to be happy. So, I burned a cypress herb for you.”

Willow nodded. “What did you use the bloodstone for?”

Oz didn’t understand. “Happiness…”

Willow shook her head. “Cypress is for happiness, but bloodstone isn’t.”

“I don’t know. Aradia said…”

“Aradia?” Oz nodded. He could see Willow was surprised at something, and thinking. He grabbed her hand, and she looked him in the eyes. “Aradia is…uh…the protectress of Witches. And…bloodstone it’s used a lot to…to renew relationships…help them flourish. Aradia…she didn’t do anything strange, or…”

“She disappeared.”

Willow smiled. “Wow. She must’ve helped me figure out what I really wanted…” She trailed off, and sat next to him. “Oz? I..I need to tell you something. Before you left..I was ready to be with you forever. I loved you. But, I was unsure and scared that maybe I was missing something. That maybe I was supposed to be with someone else. I didn’t want any regrets.” She paused to see what he was thinking. She was hurting him. She knew if she didn’t continue, she wouldn’t be able to finish. “Then, Tara came along, and I felt strongly about her. As strong as our relationship. I had to take the chance and see if my relationship with Tara would work. I never meant to hurt you, but now…I’m ready for you. No regrets.”

**Though the storms of black night rage on
I still see your face
I still feel your lips on mine
And though my heart feels all alone without you
I still hear you sing to me
I still hear your voice on the sea….**

“Are you sure?” He asked sadly.

“Yes. I guess…Aradia helped us out? We should thank her.”

“Later.” Oz grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back down on top of him as Willow laughed. “We’re busy right now.”

THE END

FANDOM: Buffy, shop Willow/Oz
SPOILERS: Season 3, order set after Graduation
DISCLAIMER: Oz and Devon belongs to Joss Whedon, link Mutant Enemy, etc.

*Summer Before College*

Willow lay under the covers in the arms of her completely naked boyfriend.

She smiled. “I like this.” Oz stroked her arm. “Being warm with you… Feeling completely loved.” Oz’s arm went down further… “Oz!” She blushed, and he looked at her innocently. She smiled at him, then her expression got serious. “O-Oz?”

He looked at her. “Hm?”

“Do..Are you…Are you afraid of going to college?”

“A little nervous.” He paused, and looked her straight in the eyes. “Are you?” Willow nodded. “Why?”

Willow sat up, and sat next to him. “I…I don’t want to lose you.”

Oz looked at her confused. “Why would you lose me?”

“It’s just…college. What if you…find someone else…someone better?”

Oz looked at her, his face completely neutral. But she could see what he was feeling. “There is no one else. I love you.”

“Well…well, what if I find someone else?” Oz just looked at her. “Right. And I love you.” She laid back down in Oz’s arms. “So, we’ll always be together?”

Oz nodded. “Always.”

“And I’ll never lose you?”

“Never.”

Willow kissed him on the chest. “You promise?”

“Promise.”

Willow nodded. “Good.” She could feel her eyes water. “Cause I never want to lose you.”

THE END

FANDOM: Buffy, ailment Willow/Oz
SPOILERS: Season 2
DISCLAIMER: Oz and Devon belongs to Joss Whedon, more about Mutant Enemy, etc.

1994-1995
Oz’s Freshman Year
Day Before Last Day of School

“Oz!  Hey, Oz!  Wait up!”  Oz turned around from walking home, and was surprised to see Devon.  “I wanted to talk to you about an idea I came up with today.”

“Devon, if it’s anything like what I think it is, I’m not doing it.”

“I was thinking of starting a band.  I could sing, you could play your guitar.  What do you think?  Are you in?”

Oz nodded.  “Let me think about it some more, but I think I’m in.”

Devon smiled.  “Great.”

******

“So, Mom.  I’m really excited about this new idea.  I’ve been playing guitar for a while, and Devon suggested we start a band.”  Oz smiled as he sat down next to his Mom.”  With him singing of course, and I think…”

His dad interrupted.  “Would you shut up about music, and the band?!  I’m so sick of hearing you talk about music this and music that.  You are such a loser.  Don’t you ever go out?!  Or have any friends?!”

“Well…I do sometimes…but I like having my space.  Doing things on my own time.”

He looked to help from his mother, and she stepped in.  “You’re never going to make it anywhere in life.”  Oz closed his mouth and stayed silent taking it all in.  Maybe he was a loser.  He’d heard it enough he was starting to believe it.

He just broke, and stood up.  “I have friends, just because I don’t hang out with them after school, doesn’t mean they don’t exist.  Why can’t you just leave me alone with what I like to do?  I mean I wasn’t taking to you, I was talking to Mom.”

He regretted the words the instant they left his mouth.  His father stood up, and hit him across the face.  Oz fell and hit the wall.  “Who do you think you are, you smart mouthing child?  You DO NOT talk to me that way!  One day you are going to make me so mad, I might have to beat you to death.”

Oz receded into the corner of the wall.  But the last sentence his father had said triggered something in him, and he had to speak.  He stared his father straight in the eyes.  “And if you do that.  I’ll make sure you go to jail.”

That was the last straw, his father cracked beyond repair.  He stormed up the stairs, and Oz knew where he was heading.  He had to hide somewhere.  There had to be somewhere to go.  He went to the opposite side of the house from the stairs.

“Mom, please help me,”  he begged.

His Mom shook her head.  “I’m not helping you.”

Oz knew there was no where to hide, he just bended over in the far corner of the room, and waited.  Seconds passed by that seemed like hours.  Then, finally he felt something sting on his back, and he could feel it again, and again.  He tried to shut himself off, go out of body.  Anything.  Then, finally he realized there was no more pain, only numbness.  He ran upstairs and into his room, hoping to get out of the thickness of sorrow that was in the room.  He ran into his room, and collapsed on the bed.

He broke into tears.  “Where are you?!  Where are you when I need you the most?!”  He screamed in his mind.  “I need someone to love me, where are you?!”

Oz cried, and then he just lay there, a zombie.  In his isolation he could hear everything.  He felt that if an ant died outside his window, he would hear it.  But something else caught his attention.  A gentle laughter rose up the stairs, around the corner, and into his room.  It was taunting him.  His parents were laughing about something on television.  They had no clue at the absolute horrible pain they had just caused him.  To them it was a memory of already a distant past.  To him it was a memory for always.

Moments later his father came in, and gave him a soft kiss on the head good night.  He was sure that to any other child, they would have felt loved, but he felt betrayed.  Oz cried himself to sleep.

******

“So, have you decided?”

“What?”

“Have you decided?  Do you want to join the band?”

“No, I can’t.”  Oz started to walk away.  He had other things on his mind.

Devon protested.  “But yesterday you said you were almost sure you were going to say yes.”

Oz stopped, for a second and had an idea.  This would give him something to do, a reason to stay out of his house.  “Okay, I’m in.”

“Great.”

“So, what do you think the name for the band should be?”

Oz thought about some movies, television shows, but the only thing that would refuse to leave his mind was his parents, and a documentary he had watched in biology class today for the last day of school.  Something about the animals of Australia.  The only part he could really remember was the hungry look of two dingoes that had eaten a baby.  His parents had eaten his childhood, and he had to grow up fast.

“How about Dingoes Ate My Baby.”

Devon smiled.  “I like it.”

******

Being with the band had fatefully led him to the love of his life, Willow.  And for a while he was completely happy.  He had found the person he called out to that one-day freshman year.  But then she had left him…  He felt like he was cursed.  Everyone he had ever opened up to and loved, had eventually turned their back on him.  There was nothing in the world for him.  He felt alone without love.

THE END

FANDOM: Buffy, impotent Willow/Oz
DISCLAIMER: Oz and Willow belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc.

Araceli lay down her head on her desk with a thunk.  She was tired, and had a headache.

“I’m going crazy.”  She mumbled to herself.

She was watching a video in US History class on the Great Depression.  She looked up momentarily and saw a very old man with his hair spiked up.

“He looks like Oz.”  She thought to herself.  She shook her head.  “No, no, no.”

Everywhere and everything reminded her of Oz and Willow.  They were everywhere.  They had even been in her dreams the night before.  She didn’t remember how, she just had a  feeling they had.

She knew that when she got home, all she had to do was click on the internet, and she could know their whole fate.  But she wasn’t going to, even if it meant going insane.

Last night she had been on a no-spoiler high (trying to resist spoilers), but today it had worn off leaving her very tired.  As long as she didn’t think about the preview, or the episode, or Buffy…she’d be okay.

Oh, look the teacher was putting in a movie.  She watched as the credits went by:  Lindsay Crouse.  She stopped.  “Wait, don’t I know her?”  The movie continued and out popped Professor Walsh.  Araceli screamed.  *In her head of course.  She can’t scream in the middle of class.*  “Buffy!  They’re all coming to haunt me!  Willow, Oz, all of them!”

Later at lunch, when she had mostly calmed down, she realized something. “Oh, no.  I lost my lunch ID card.”  She ran all the way back upstairs to her US History room hoping it would be there.  She breathed in relief as she saw it on the floor beneath her chair.  But what was this?!  The Willow/Oz picture was sticking out in plain view, taunting her.  She quickly ran back down stairs, trying to erase it from her memory.

As soon as she got home she ran upstairs and onto the computer screaming all the way.  They were all against her.  Everything and everyone was Willow and Oz.  They were everywhere.  “Only 29 hrs left!  Only 29 hrs left!”

Somewhere in California Joss Whedon laughed knowing the pain and suffering he was causing and going to cause across the nation.  “Those dumb Oz supporters, they don’t know what they’re getting into.  They’re in for the ride of their life tomorrow.”  Joss continued laughing as his laughter faded into the background.

THE END

FANDOM: Buffy, psychotherapist Willow/Oz
SPOILERS: Season 4
DISCLAIMER: Oz and Willow belongs to Joss Whedon, web Mutant Enemy, etc.
NOTE: Title and story inspired by Finding Me by Vertical Horizon

Part 1

“So, I’ll… I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Willow smiled. “Of course. We still have a lot of things we can still do with the new spell book you found.”

Tara nodded and opened the door letting Willow out of her room. As Willow walked down the hall, she watched her and slowly slid the door shut. Tara leaned back against the door, closed her eyes, and slid to the floor.

She looked around her room. “When am I going to be able to tell her?”

She got up and opened her desk drawer and took out the one of two items she had from her childhood. The other item was a rose quartz that Willow and she had been using lately for different spells. But this item was different, this item contained her whole soul, and Willow could never see it. Not yet anyway, the time wasn’t right.

Tara stared at the faded photograph. “I miss you,” she whispered. “I need your courage. I need your help. I can’t do this.” She closed her eyes, and a single tear came streaming down her face.

******

When she finally fell asleep she found herself dreaming. Except this wasn’t one of one of her usual dreams she could control. This was like a nightmare. Faces were zooming in on her with voices she recognized, but the faces were distorted.

She cried into the darkness. “Leave me alone! I can’t help you!”

“Then you’ll die.” Echoed throughout the darkness.

“I don’t care anymore.”

“But you promised.” Echoed in her head again. Then the voice changed. “Honey, I know you’re scared. But you know I’m counting on you. I need you to help me.”

Tara cried and lay in the person’s lap. “I’m not strong enough. I’m not as strong as you.”

The person stroked her head softly. “You are, and you have to be. You are a part of me.”

******

Tara awoke from her dream and sat straight up. She slowly looked toward the glowing rose quartz on her desk. She knew what she had to do.

Part 2

Tara finished making her bed, and noticed something on the floor. It was her photograph. Sometime during the night the photograph and a spell book had fallen off her desk. Tara picked up the photograph, and put the spell book on top of it on her desk. Then, she heard a knock on the door. Forgetting about the photograph and book she went to answer the door.

Tara opened the door and was surprised to see Willow. She looked at her watch. “You’re early. I… I mean, not that I mind.”

“Yeah. I didn’t have anything else to do. So, I thought. Why not go a little early.”

Tara let Willow in and motioned to the book on her desk. “There’s the book, and the rose quartz. I’ll be right back.” Tara hurried to the bathroom, and Willow got to work.

Willow sat on the bed and took the rose quartz in her hand. She could sense there was a lot of power in it, but they still hadn’t figure out how to use the crystal for anything. She stood up and looked down at the spell book and noticed something. It was a picture of… Oz! Why would Tara have a picture of Oz? Then she noticed something else. Oz was smiling, and in his arms was Tara. What was going on?

“So, are you ready to start?” Willow slowly looked up and stared hard at Tara. “What?” Willow looked back down at the picture and Tara noticed what she was staring at. No, this couldn’t be happening yet.

Willow noticed the look on Tara’s face that she had been found out. Willow grabbed her jacket and ran to the door with the rose quartz still in her hand and yanked it open. But Tara was close behind and grabbed Willow’s arm pulling her back inside, and slammed the door shut. Then, she locked it. The rose quartz glowed.

******

*Far Away*

Oz was restless. He hadn’t gotten much sleep the last three nights because of his wolf condition. He thought he could get some sleep tonight, but he was wrong. He was dreaming about Willow just as he had done many other nights. He was dreaming about her smell, the feel of her in his arms, and many other things. But somehow this was different. Willow was afraid, and it was making him afraid, and Oz didn’t like it. The dream felt too real for comfort. Then he saw Willow very visibly, in her dorm room. She was with someone Oz didn’t recognize. A blond. The blond was kissing Willow. Then he could feel Willow growing weaker.

Oz woke up breathing heavily. He wiped his eyes, and looked outside. The sun hadn’t risen yet. He’d never had a prophetic dream before. But this dream felt too real. Oz jumped into the driver’s seat and started the engine. He was going home. He just hoped it wasn’t too late.

Part 3

Willow and Tara stared at the glowing crystal which had been calm just a few minutes ago. In the back of her mind Willow knew it had something to do with her and Tara holding the crystal together with all their combined emotion. They both watched, entranced as the glowing got brighter, and the crystal started to heat up. Willow instantly dropped the crystal as it burned her hand. The rose quartz landed on the ground with a thunk, and Tara let go of Willow’s arm.

Willow instantly backed up to the opposite side of the room from the door and Tara. “Willow, I can explain this.” Willow just stared with no reaction. “This picture, uh… It was taken last year. Oz and I… We knew each other. We were friends, nothing else.” There was more than friendship in the picture. Willow didn’t believe one word, and Tara knew she didn’t. “Okay. You’re right that’s a lie. I…”

Willow cut her off. “Tara let me go.”

Tara looked into her eyes and realized that if she said anything else, it would only make the problem worse. She needed Willow to trust her if she was going to do what she came to do. Tara unlocked the door and stepped aside. Willow hurried out of the room as fast as she could.

Tara sighed. Everything was going wrong so far. Except one thing. Thank the Goddess she didn’t see what was on the other half of the photograph. The spell book had covered the truth, for now.

******

*Later That Night*

Willow turned in her bed. She had been trying to fall asleep for the last half hour, but couldn’t. For the last hour she had felt really sick, like she had the flu. She just needed some rest she convinced herself.

Out of the corner of her mind she realized someone was knocking on the door. Her first thought was Oz. But then she remembered Oz was gone.

“I’m coming.” She said weakly and she slowly walked to answer the door. When she answered, she was surprised to see who was there. “Tara?”

Tara pushed by. “Willow I need your help.”

Willow barely heard her, and responded a little while later. “Tara what are you doing here?” She asked as she rubbed her head and closed the door.

Tara stopped. “Willow, are you okay?”

“I’m… I’m okay. I’m not feeling well.”

A look of shock went across Tara’s face. “What DO you feel?”

“I don’t know. Weak, like I have the flu, and a stomach ache. Why?”

“Willow, I can help you.”

“What? Tara what’s going on.” Willow was confused.

“I can’t explain. Just let me…”

“Tara. No.” Willow started feeling a little better. “I’m not sure what happened today, but I don’t know if I trust you anymore. I think you should leave.”

“I’m sorry Willow. I can’t.”

Tara put her hands in the air, and started chanting.

Goddess romano Fortuna, invito il thee per contribuire a regolarsi che cosa è errato. Dalla vostra saggezza nel destino, prego per aiutare il salice ad essere forte.

Suddenly Willow couldn’t feel the ground beneath her feet, as she fell to her knees. All she was focused on was Tara slowly coming towards her. Tara was moving her lips towards her. They both didn’t notice the pounding on the door, they were so focused on each other.

“Willow!” Oz broke through the door, and realized what was going on. He thought for a split second on making sure she was really in danger, before he broke in. But decided it was too risky. He grabbed Willow by the arm pulled her up and they backed up to the wall. She laid against his chest. Then, she broke out of the spell. She then realized who she was looking at.

“Oz?” She whispered with love, and a lot of emotion.

From across the room Tara realized it too. “O – oz?” She asked sounding like she knew him.

“Do I know you?” Oz wondered aloud. All of a sudden Willow collapsed in Oz’s arms and cried in pain. Oz lowered her to the ground. “Willow? Willow?”

Willow didn’t reply as she stared feverishly past him.

Part 4

“Willow?” Oz got louder. “Please answer me.” Oz quickly looked at Tara who was still staring in shock at them. “What did you do?!”

“I… I didn’t do anything I swear.”

“Do you know what’s happening? Who are you?”

“I…”

Then a voice broke through the confusion. “Oz?” Oz looked down with love. “Oz. It is you.” Willow smiled and started to get up to hug him.

“No, you need to lie down.” Oz started to push her back down.

“I’m fine.” Willow wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his shoulder. “I’ve dreamed of this day. I missed you.” She whispered.

Oz wrapped his arms tightly around her. “I missed you so much.” His voice broke. “I’m so sorry.” Now that he was in her arms all his emotions of the past months came loose. He backed up and looked into her eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“I’ve been better.” She didn’t taker her eyes off him.

“What’s wrong?” Oz asked worriedly.

“I don’t know. I was sick earlier. Then…” Willow gasped in pain again.

Oz looked around for any cause or help to Willow, but found nothing. He was helpless.

Tara suddenly pushed Oz aside. “Let me try.” She looked up, closed her eyes, and put her hands on Willow. Willow could suddenly feel heat and pressure, then the pain fading.

Willow sat up then looked at herself and then Tara. “Its gone.”

“For… For the moment.” Tara responded warily. “I… I don’t know what’s happening… But I may be able to help.”

Oz asked the question on both his and Willow’s minds. “Who are you?”

Tara stared at both of them next to each other. “I… I…” She stammered, then took a deep breath. “I’m… I’m…” She paused again. “I’m your daughter…” She said quickly.

Part 5

“My… my daughter?” Willow asked in wonder.

Tara nodded. “Both of you.” She smiled.

“But how?”

“This rose quartz we’ve been using.” She took it out of her pocket. “Rose quartz is used for love… But you already knew that…” She paused. “And quartz is used for time. You know? Like in watches.”

Willow smiled as she understood. “You used my love for you in the rose quartz to travel back in time?” Tara nodded. “But why?”

Her face became serious. “To help you.”

Oz had been quiet the whole time, and staring at the opposite wall. He suddenly looked up. “From what?”

“I’m not sure. As a safety mechanism when time traveling, nature removes all memories that aren’t important. But I do know I came back to save Willow, but I don’t know from what.”

Oz took this new information in. “So, you’re saying nature doesn’t think KNOWING what is happening to Willow is important?!” Tara was shocked. She’d never heard her dad yell at her like that.

“Oz, its not her fault!” Willow reminded him.

Oz realized what he’d done. “I’m sorry… This is just a lot to think about in one day.” He rubbed his eyes. “I’m on edge.”

Tara nodded. “Its okay.” She stood up. “I have to go now. Besides, you two need some time to yourselves. I’ll continue trying to figure out what is going on.” She left and closed the door.

Oz stood up. “So… Its…”

Willow interrupted. “Don’t. Oz I missed you, and yes I still love you. But you took yourself completely out of my life, and I was left with only memories and pictures. And it hurt, Oz. I missed you every second. And I don’t know where we stand anymore. And until I figure out where that is, I can’t be around you, wanting you with me.”

Oz nodded understanding. “If you need me. You know where I am.” He left and the door slowly closed shut.

Willow collapsed on her bed and cried.

****** Oz walked slowly along the forest next to the college campus and back to his van. He was lost in his thoughts and didn’t realize at first that somebody was following him. He stopped and heard footsteps all around. He realized he didn’t have a stake or any other defense. He would have to make a run for his van. Oz broke into a run for his life, hoping he would make it. Suddenly he was surrounded on all sides.

“Freeze!” Someone yelled out, and all guns were focused on him.

Oz lifted his hands up. “I’m not who you want.”

One man fired his taser and Oz flew backwards onto the ground. He shook as the electricity from the taser dissipated in his body, and he was unconscious.

“Hostile captured.”

Part 6
Rated R

Oz smiled as he pinned Willow down on the sand. In the darkness of the evening, the only sound was the crashing of the waves on the shore.

The scene shifted to Willow’s room, two days before graduation.

“Panic is a thing people can share in times of crisis. And everything’s really scary now, you know, and I don’t know what’s gonna happen. And there’s all sorts of things that you’re supposed to get to do after high school, and I was really looking forward to doing them, and now we’re probably just gonna die…”

Oz stopped listening and realized what it would be like if one of them died. All of a sudden he felt empty. If there was any chance… He couldn’t risk never showing her his complete love. She deserved that. ‘Till death do us part.’ In one quick movement he leaned forward and kissed her slowly.

She closed her eyes. “What are you doing?”

Oz told her the first answer that came to his head. “Panicking.”

The scene shifted again to four days before he left.

Oz pushed the door to his room open with his back as his hands roamed all over Willow. They’re kissing got more and more passionate. He quickly slammed the door shut. Thank god the guys were at some party.

Oz quickly took his shirt and pants off as Willow laid down on the bed and took off all her clothes from the waist down. He threw the laundry from the bed to the floor then he positioned himself over Willow as they continued kissing.

Oz tried to take Willow’s shirt off, but she stopped him. She smiled and pushed him over, then she got on top. She quickly pulled her shirt and bra off, and pulled his boxers down, as he got a condom out of the drawer and put it on.

They continued kissing, then she slowly lowered him into her. She moved up and down, then quickened the pace, going stronger and stronger. Oz moved with her, and suddenly all her muscles tightened and she shook with pleasure. She gasped his name, and she could feel him shake with her as he grabbed her tightly keeping her with him.

She slowly got off and laid next to him. She shivered. Oz grabbed a yellow shirt from the floor, and she put it on. She turned around, and Oz wrapped his arms around her. Holding her close.

As Oz started to awake he realized that was the last time they had made love, and the most important. Oz started to become more awake as voices echoed in his head.

“Oz don’t you love me?”

“My whole life, I’ve never loved anything else.” He kissed her on the forehead. Then he was gone.

Oz slowly awoke to a piercing pain in his arm. He tried pulling away from the source of the burning in his blood. He struggled and thrashed around trying to stop it.

A man shouted in his subconscious. “Stop him!”

Suddenly something was put over his face and he began to fall back to sleepless hell. Just before he felt pain that he only felt on the three nights of the full moon. It was endless, and he screamed in pain.

Somewhere else, in a dorm room, Willow also screamed as she grabbed her stomach and fell to the floor.

Part 7

Tara jumped awake from sleeping on her desk. Her heart pounded. She rubbed her eyes. She had been up all night researching and fell asleep. All she had was a healing spell that might or might not work. But it was worth a try. The spell required someone close to the intended recipient. She figured she was the one in mind. The spell would also divulge the problem if unknown.

Tara left in search of Willow and Oz. Goddess she hoped this worked. She was lost in her thoughts when she bumped into someone coming from Willow’s room.

“Buffy? What’s wrong?” She asked noticing Buffy’s face.

“Its Willow. She is in the hospital. The ambulance just took her away.” Buffy explained as she continued walking.

“Where’s Oz? He wasn’t there?”

Buffy stopped and Tara noticed she had no clue he was even back. “He came back last night. I left them alone and went home.”

Buffy continued walking. “If he hurt her…”

Tara grabbed Buffy by the arm. “I don’t know where he is, but Oz would never hurt Willow.”

Buffy pulled away from Tara’s grasp, and continued walking out the door. “He’s done it before.”

Tara didn’t know what to say. “I’m coming with you.”

******

Oz slowly awoke with a dull pain in his head. He felt oddly weak and didn’t know where he was. He was in some kind of white room. He sat up to take in his surroundings, and started to stand.

“I wouldn’t do that if I where you.” The voice sounded oddly familiar. Oz turned around. Then his capturer noticed the same thing. “Oz?”

“Riley?” Then, he noticed the army uniform Riley was wearing. “What’s going on? Where am I?”

“You’re in a containment room, for demons, monsters… You’re a werewolf, and dangerous. So we have to keep you here.”

“No, its okay. I lock myself up on the full moon nights. I’m not a danger.” Oz thought to Willow. “In terms of attacks… You can let me go.”

“I’m sorry Oz. I can’t do that.”

Part 8

Oz thought Riley would help him. What was he going to do now?

Riley looked directly at Oz. “So. I bet you want to see Willow again?”

Oz nodded.

“She misses you. She’s been watching and waiting for you. Always watching.”

Oz slowly looked Riley in the eyes. He swore he could see him blink. Riley’s eyes wandered, and Oz noticed something gray out of the corner of his eye. Of course, a video camera.

Oz understood. “I’m sorry I couldn’t have been there. But I’m here now. So, how do I get her to stop looking?”

“If she can’t find you… She can’t see you.”

The door behind Riley opened unexpectedly, and a doctor followed by two guards came inside the room. The doctor had a needle filled with anesthetic, and the guards had taser guns.

The doctor spoke. “Hold him down.”

The guards rushed forward and held him down on his stomach, as the doctor came from behind.

******

Tara and Buffy sat in the cold waiting room chairs of the hospital. They were waiting for something on Willow’s condition.

A doctor came into the room, and Buffy was instantly alert. “Ms. Summers?” Buffy stood up and they shook hands. The doctor turned to Tara. “Ms..?”

“Tara… Tara Smith.”

Buffy continued on. “How is Willow?” They all sat down except the doctor who remained standing.

“We ran some tests, and we don’t know what is making her sick. We do know she is slowly losing using the energy to live. She’s dying. I’m sorry. We’re going to continue to run different tests, but I don’t think she has much longer. I suggest you call family, and friends.”

“Can we see her?” Tara asked.

The doctor nodded. “In about twenty minutes, a nurse will come out and show you to her room.”

Buffy sat in silence staring out the window.

“Buffy?” She slowly turned and acknowledged Tara’s presence. “Do you have a phone number I can use to try and get a hold of Oz? Where he lives…lived?”

Buffy slowly nodded. “555-9466”

Tara smiled. “Thanks. I promise, Willow will be fine.”

Tara went over to the pay phone in the hall, and dialed the number. A groggy voice picked up the phone.

“Hello?” Tara recognized her dad’s best friend Devon as the voice. She smiled, and realized she hadn’t seen him in a while.

“Hi, this is Tara. May I speak to Oz?”

“Is this a joke? I haven’t seen Oz in five months. He doesn’t live here anymore.”

“I know. He’s back in town. I thought might have gone home. So, you haven’t seen him?”

“No.”

Where could he be? “Okay. Well, can you give him a message if you do see him? Tell him that Willow is at Sunnydale Hospital, 3rd floor.”

“Is she okay?”

“I don’t think so, Devon. But I’m going to do whatever I can. Thanks, but I have to go. Give Oz my message.” She hung up.

Devon sat down on the couch. Oz was back in town? Wait, how did she know my name? Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Devon opened it, and Oz ran in and slammed the door shut.

“You are back…”

Oz just went back to the door, and looked outside to make sure no one was following him.

“Oz, someone just called for you. She said you had to go to Sunnydale Hospital, 3rd floor. She said her name was Tara, and its about Willow.”

Oz turned around at the mention of Willow. “Is she okay?”

“I don’t think so. How did Tara know my name?”

“I have to go.” He opened the door, stumbled outside, and fell to the floor. Oz swimmingly tried to stand up, and make it to the car outside. “They drugged me…”

Devon ran out and helped him up. “I’m driving.”

******

Twenty minutes later Devon and a sleepy Oz arrived at the hospital. Tara and Buffy were just about to go into Willow’s room.

Tara felt the presence of her father, and turned around to welcome him in a hug. She smiled. “You made it! Come inside, you can come in, too, Devon.”

Oz looked at Devon’s surprised face. “I’ll tell you later.”

“I think I may have found a spell to help Willow. I’m going to go into the astral plane, and try to help her from a different level. And see what’s causing this.”

“Are you sure that’s not too dangerous?” Oz questioned.

“You want to come with me?” Oz nodded, and they sat down on the floor. “Okay. Close your eyes, and breathe in and out slowly, focus on Willow. Only her. Push aside all other thoughts.”

Part 9

Oz and Tara slowly opened their eyes, and found themselves in a black abyss. Their surroundings twinkled with stars. They stood up, and looked around.

“Willow?!” Tara called. Then she heard moaning. Oz and Tara ran, but only took one step before their thoughts brought them to Willow and she suddenly appeared in front of them.

Willow was sitting down on blackness, on no visible feature. Dust was swirling slowly from her, and she appeared to be getting smaller. Tara closed her eyes and held out her hands Energy started to accumulate in her hands, and she spoke.

“Magick mend and sickness burn, sickness end; good health return.” The dust stopped, and information from the astral spirits filled her mind. Willow slowly began to grow back to normal size. Tara opened her eyes. “I know what’s wrong. There is a demon feeding off her life energy. He’s attracted to werewolves. The bigger the werewolf, the more he’s attracted, and the less it takes to kill them. We have to get you out of here.”

Willow slowly started to gain consciousness and disappear from the astral plane back to they physical one. Tara blessed her spirit back to the physical plane. The demon started to awaken now that Willow was no longer there for him to feed off. His attention turned to Tara.

“Wait, Tara. Why is he attracted to Willow? She’s not a werewolf.” Oz realized.

“I know. Its..” The demon launched itself in the form of a wolf at Tara. She grabbed Oz’s hand. “Run!” They ran together. “Now count backwards from 10, and at 1 open your eyes.”

“10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…” The demon landed on Oz’s back, and his grip on Tara’s hand momentarily slipped. Tara looked back and only saw Oz, she grabbed his hand again and pulled him to his feet. “1…”

They opened their eyes to find themselves back in the hospital room. Willow was just starting to awaken. “O-oz?”

Oz grabbed her hand, “I’m here.” Everyone smiled relieved to see everything okay. Oz breathed in and suddenly realized he couldn’t. He gasped for air, and fell backwards onto the tile floor.

Willow screamed his name. “OZ!”

Devon ran out into the hallway. “Nurse! Nurse!”

Two nurses came in and hurriedly checked his pulse and breathing and started CPR. They checked his pulse again.

The nurses stopped, and one of them looked up at everyone. Buffy sat next to Willow, who had tears rolling down her face. Devon was leaning against the wall for support. And Tara sat down staring at Oz’s body on the floor. “I’m sorry. He’s dead.”

Part 10

Devon spoke first. “He…can’t be.”

Tara looked at everyone going from one side of the room to the other in slow motion. Everyone was shocked. Was this her purpose? To save her mother, at the price of her father? No, he had to live.

“His spirit hasn’t left, yet.” Tara started to go in a trance. She would find him.

“What is she doing?” The nurse asked. “I’m calling the doctor.”

Tara could no longer hear anything. “Oz? Dad?” She called out, and the darkness shook with the vibrations of her thoughts. “Dad?!”

She tried to think of some memories of her father to draw herself to him, but nothing was coming to mind. Her memories had been erased because of the time travel. What was she going to do? Wait, she did have some memories. Memories of the last two days. She tried to conjure all of them in one thought, and closed her eyes. When she opened them she was blinded by a bright light. There was a figure moving towards it. She started to panic, but then remembered she had to stay in control.

“Dad! Oz!” The figure turned at the emotions in the thoughts.

“Tara?”

She nodded. “Dad come back. Don’t move towards the light.”

He looked back at the light. “Its so peaceful. Its calling me.”

Tara realized the light was winning. “I’m calling you! I need you. You still have things to do in this world.”

“The pain is leaving. I feel…nothing.”

“Dad!” He started walking towards the light again.

******

Willow looked at Oz laying on the floor and Tara frozen in a trance beside him. “I hope they’re okay.” She looked back at Buffy and Devon who were holding the nurses in the corner of the room.

******

She had only one more idea to try. She sent thoughts of what she had learned from the spell to save Willow. Reasons he had to stay.

Oz stopped and turned away, and the light vanished. Tara wrapped him in a hug and held on tight. She whispered into his ear, knowing what she had to do. “Tell her. And Dad, I love you both.”

The demon already powerful from feeding on Oz instantly jumped into Tara as Oz woke up in the physical world.

Tara fell dead, and so did the demon.

******

Willow lay on the grass next to the tombstone. She didn’t know how long she’d been laying there crying.

She sat up at the sound of crunching grass behind her. Her face was wet with tears. Oz kneeled down next to her slowly, he was still weak from the encounter with the demon. He wrapped his arm around her.

Willow sniffled. “I don’t understand. How could I send her back, if I knew she was going to die?”

Oz looked at the tombstone. “I don’t know. Maybe you didn’t know when you sent her back. Or maybe her death has a different meaning.” He paused and looked into her eyes. “Or maybe she’s still alive.”

Willow looked at him questioningly. “What do you mean?”

“Tara told me when she saved me. She told me why you had been so sick. Why the demon attracted to werewolf blood was attracted to you. You’re pregnant.” Willow was astonished, and looked down at her stomach. “You’re six months pregnant.”

Willow continued looking at her stomach. “How?”

“Remember the last time? Before I left, when the condom ripped?” Willow nodded. “The demon was taking the baby and your energy, and that’s why it didn’t show, but it will now.”

Willow looked back at the tombstone. “This is…”

“I have something else to tell you.” Willow looked back at him. “Actually, something I’ve been wanting to ask you for a while now. Willow, will your marry me?”

Willow smiled and broke into tears. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. “Yes, of course.”

In the air a song played.

I don’t think you notice
When you see my face
I guess you’re waiting
To spin me around again

Wheels I guess are turning
Somewhere inside my head
I know that this is
Deeper than you get

But you’re coming back again
You don’t mean to waste my time
But you’re coming back so

Chorus
Don’t tell me
How to be
‘Cause I like some suffering
Don’t ask me
What I need
I’m just fine
Here finding me
Me

I’ve already given
Up on getting through
I never question
Who I’m talking to

Oh so much for nothing
But nothing means so much
I know it’s touching
But I’ve been out of touch

And it’s all that I can do
I’m a sight for my sore eyes
But it’s all I am so

Chorus

I don’t think you notice
When I can’t reach out
I guess you’re waiting
On somebody else again

Oh so much for talking
It’s all been said before
I’m hearing something
but I wish you’d just say more

But you’re going off again
When I try to just hold on
But you’re going off so

Chorus

THE END

FANDOM: Buffy, information pills Willow/Oz
SPOILERS: Season 4
DISCLAIMER: Oz and Willow belongs to Joss Whedon, buy viagra Mutant Enemy, etc.
NOTE: Title and story inspired by Crash and Burn by Savage Garden. Parts in quotes is part of the song, so if you have Savage Garden’s CD, ‘Affirmation’, stick it in and put it on song 5. The song, ‘Crash and Burn’ by Savage Garden follows exactly with the story. The lyrics are there for anyone who can’t listen to the song. Otherwise, just read the story. 😉

Willow sat in her dorm room looking at a picture. It was a picture of her and the person she missed most in the world, Oz. Except today she missed him more. Today was his birthday. Not only that, but she remembered what he had told her on his last birthday, when they were alone together.

“Willow, I… I love you. Always and forever. I’ll never leave you.”

But in less than a year, that’s what he did. Her tears escaped out of her eyes. How could she live without him?

‘When you feel all alone’

She missed him more than life itself.

‘And the world has turned it’s back on you’

It was days like these, anniversaries of important moments for them, when she felt helpless.

‘Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart’

She knew she had hurt him, when she kissed Xander, but she never truly realized how it felt until now. She never guessed it could hurt this bad.

‘I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you’

They had worked it out, and everything was well again. But there was no one here now to work it out with. She desperately wanted him back. She felt like she would give anything. She wanted her soul.

‘It’s hard to find relief and people can be so cold’

Everyone assumed she would get over him, but how could she? How can you recover when a piece of you is missing?

‘When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can’t take anymore’

Willow held the picture, and looked into his eyes, then at the complete picture. They were so innocent together. How could anything ever go wrong? She loved him.

‘Let me be the one you call’

Someone knocked at the door.

‘If you jump I’ll break your fall’

And Willow dried her tears.

‘Lift you up and fly away with you into the night’

Who could it be? She opened the door but no one was there.

‘If you need to fall apart’

She started to close the door, but noticed a piece of paper on the floor.

‘I can mend a broken heart’

She quickly picked it up and read the writing.

‘If you need to crash then crash and burn
You’re not alone’

“I love you, Willow.” Who was it from? Then she noticed the writing on the back. “- Oz”

Willow’s heart pounded, was it really him? Could it be? Was he back? She recognized his writing. It had to be him. She loved only him.

‘When you feel all alone’

“Oz?” She whispered his name and looked around.

‘And a loyal friend is hard to find’

Suddenly a door shut down the hall. She wouldn’t let him go this time.

‘You’re caught in a one way street’

She ran as fast as she could.

‘With the monsters in your head’

Down the stairs and outside into the night.

‘When hopes and dreams are far away and’

She ran for her life. Feet pounding. Heart pounding. Mind pounding. All of it.

‘You feel like you can’t face they day’

She saw the back of his head.

‘Let me be the one you call’

She ran after him.

‘If you jump I’ll break your fall’

She needed him.

‘Lift you up and fly away with you into the night’

She stopped and fell to the ground.

‘If you need to fall apart’

She couldn’t catch him.

‘I can mend a broken heart’

She couldn’t even keep him.

‘If you need to crash then crash and burn
You’re not alone’

Oz watched from a distance. He wanted to hold her again.

‘Because there has always been heartache and pain’

He didn’t want to, but he was hurting her again.

‘And when it’s over you’ll breathe again’

He had wanted to beg for forgiveness. All he wanted was her.

‘You’ll breathe again’

But the thought that she wouldn’t want him, held him back. He never could tell her when something was wrong. It was this fault that got him in trouble when he found out he was a werewolf, and later with Veruca. It was all his fault.

‘When you feel all alone’

Suddenly Willow sat up.

‘And the world has turned its back on you’

She heard the sound of a bush moving right next to her.

‘Give me a moment please’

She grabbed a branch, and pulled it aside.

‘To tame your wild wild heart’

Oz stood up. It was now or never.

‘Let me be the one you call’

He stepped out of the bushes.

‘If you jump I’ll break your fall’

Willow blinked, and wrapped her arms around him.

‘Lift you up and fly away with you into the night’

He was with her at last. He fell to his knees and cried.

‘If you need to fall apart’

Willow cried, too.

‘I can mend a broken heart’

The only thing she wanted was here.

‘If you need to crash then crash and burn’

She held his face in her hands. And she moved towards his lips.

‘You’re not alone’

They kissed and united their souls forever. This was how it was meant to be. Them. Together. No one else. They both had dreamed of this since they left eachother. Some things needed to be resolved, but not now. Now was the time for love….

THE END

FANDOM: Buffy, decease Willow/Oz
SPOILERS: Season 4
DISCLAIMER: Oz and Willow belongs to Joss Whedon, pharm Mutant Enemy, etc.

Oz sat on the cold floor in a cave. His thoughts were on Willow, as they always were. What was she feelign or doing right now? Did she miss him? Stupid question. Of course she did. The same way he missed her.

His thoughts went to how he hurt her. I couldn’t help it. It wasn’t my fault. Oz’s mind quickly attacked. But it was your fault. You wanted Veruca, while still human, remember? Oz covered his ears. Then you left Willow, remember? Then you sent for all your stuff, didn’t even call her, and made her think you were never coming back. Oz couldn’t stop hearing the thoughts in his head. They were echoing throughout his mind, and even the cave.

Oz’s voice echoed throughtout the cave. “No! I didn’t mean to.” He paused for the ringing in his ears. “She didn’t even give me a chance to explain.”

All the noise stopped and Oz dumped out a sheet of paper and a pencil from his bag, and began to write a song.

“Put these chains over me.” Oz looked helplessly at the chains around his wrists and the inevitable landscape outside. He wanted desperately to be home. He needed Willow. To make him feel whole. “To make me feel I’m alive.” Why?! Why did this happen? Everything was fine.

His sorrow went against everything in his mind. He did the unthinkable and blamed Willow. It was all her fault! He couldn’t figure out how, but it had to be. I loved her so much, I had to leave, and now I’m hurting because of it. You didn’t even believe me when I tried to explain after the night you found us. That’s because it wasn’t true, his mind intervened. Oz went on, “I want to feel you’re faith, but you’re never on my side. I want to feel your faith explain that I never tried.” I tried, Willow. I tried to resist, I swear. Oz’s mind echoed. He quickly continued to write, willing the voice saying “No you didn’t.” away.

“I don’t care for change. Tied again.”

Oz got out of the chains from the night before. He felt horrible. He needed to get out of the cave. He dove forever until he got to his home, for now.

“Everything was overturned.” He couldn’t think straight. He just needed her to believe him. “I want to see your face explain that I never tried.”

A tear came from Oz’s eye. “I never wanted. I don’t care. I never wanted change. I never wanted… I don’t care… I never wanted…” Oz sighed. “Tied again,” he said aloud.

He would go back to Willow. He just needed time. Maybe only time was on his side… Oz shook his head. No, Willow was on his side, too. And he’d come back to show her he knew.

TIED UP
by Four Star Mary

put these chains over me
make me feel I’m alive
i want to feel you’re faith
but you’re never on my side
i want to feel you’re faith explain
that i’ve never tried
i dont’ care for change
other worlds won’t explain

tied again

see these cars on the road
all these cars overturned
i want to see you’re faith
but you’re never on my side
i want to see you’re face explain
that i’ve never tried

i don’t care for change
other worlds other days

tied again

when i see them tied again
when i see them lie

i never wanted
i don’t care
i never wanted change
i never wanted
i don’t care
i never wanted

tied again

THE END