The water was cold. That was the only thing Dawn could think of as she skimmed her foot across the top of the pool. The temperature of the water was to be expected though, given the season of the year.
It was early fall, and the winds had been picking up more than usual the last couple of days. The sun was shining from behind the trees and barely increasing the warmth of the afternoon. The leaves had fallen all over the yard and even into the pool, but thanks to a net the pool had just been prepared for swimming.
Dawn shivered as a draft of wind blew past her. She would have given anything to be in the water and remembering the past couple of years. Getting into the pool on the day before the first day of school had been a yearly ritual for her and her brother Dan. It had always been their way of commemorating the summer that had passed and the school year that was about to begin. But now Dan wasn’t there, and still she felt strangely obligated to continue the tradition alone.
Dan was away at college, having to start class a week earlier than the local middle school. He’d been so excited and in a hurry he’d even almost forgotten to say goodbye on moving day. He hadn’t remembered their tradition in the excitement of that day, but then again neither had she.
“Are you going to get in?” Dawn turned to find her mother watching her expectantly from the lawn. Then seeing her daughter’s expression of upset, she continued on down the hall until she stood next to her daughter. “Dawn, I know Dan’s not here right now, but he’ll be home in a couple of weeks. And when he comes home, you two can swim together then.”
Dawn grabbed her towel from a nearby chair and walked past her mother and towards the back door of the house. “You don’t understand. Its not the same.”
“Dawn, wait.” Despite her feelings telling her to run into the house before the tears came, Dawn stopped to listen to her mother. She could feel an unknown anger beneath the surface and was afraid that if she turned around her mother would see it. So in true angry fashion, she kept her back turned. “Dawn, honey. It’ll be okay. I don’t know about this tradition you two have, but I’m sure it’ll be the same in a couple weeks when Dan comes home.”
Dawn didn’t even bother acknowledging her mother’s empty consolidations and continued walking into her house. She didn’t understand. No one did.
*****
“So, what do you want to do on this last day of summer?” Dan sat down next to his sister on the edge of the pool. Dawn stared down into the water of the pool and didn’t even acknowledge his presence, let alone even reply. If he wanted to pretend everything was fine, he could. Dan tried again. “So, I’m starting high school tomorrow.”
This time his statement elicited a response. “I know.”
“Well, do you want to go for a swim?”
“Today?”
“Yeah. Can’t really do it tomorrow.”
Dawn looked up at her brother for the first time. “What was wrong with the rest of the summer?”
Dan sighed as if he should have expected this comment. Look, I’m sorry we haven’t hung out all summer. I was out with my friends.
“Friends you just made. But your friends don’t mean you can ignore me practically all summer. It’s always been you and me. Then we move to a different country and you ditch me in a matter of months.”
“Look, I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to end up alone this school year without any friends just because I’m the new kid. I didn’t think that you could be lonely.”
“Not good enough.”
“Well, how do you want me to make it up to you? I’m here today. We can swim all day long if you want.”
“Still not good enough.”
Dan was beginning to become frustrated. “What else do you want?” He looked towards his little sister who was deep in thought. Suddenly, Dan became very afraid as his sister’s eyes lit up.
Dawn made a wide smile of delight. “To make up for all these days of summer that you missed! You owe me all those days back. That’s equal to one day a year, for the rest of our lives. Starting today.”
He took this in stride, still not believing she was serious. “Why this day?”
Dawn shrugged. “I don’t know. Just cause its today.” And with that he watched as his little sister made a cannonball into the pool, succeeding in splashing her brother.
*****
Dawn sat on her bed with tears in her eyes as she rummaged through a shoebox. Once again Dan had forgotten her. Sure, he had more important things to think about. And sure, he was too grown up to probably care about mindless childish traditions. But still, no one understood the bond that had grown between her and her older brother.
Her brother had been her closest friend for so many years. Growing up in a different country where you were the only two who spoke English had that effect on them. Yet, that wasn’t the only reason they had grown closer than brothers and sisters usually do. It had been her brother she could always count on and talk to as they had moved from location to location as their father’s job had been transferred time and again. He had always been her constant as other people came and went in her life. He was her touchstone.
This is why she sat on her bed rummaging through old photos, comic book cards, and memorabilia she had kept from their various adventures together. There was a medal with a stag in the middle of a forest of trees they had won for completing a Volksmarch. Then there was their special Go Fish cards they used to play every week when it was too cold to go outside. On each card was a variety of fish dressed in different clothes with big bubble eyes. Dawn chuckled to herself as she looked through the different cards, remembering the picture she hadn’t seen in almost a year.
There was a lifetime worth of memories contained in her room and in this little box alone. The objects and pictures could tell a story of her life, but Dawn wondered what exactly it told. Did it show the bond between her and her brother? Or was it just a random assortment of objects having little meaning to anyone but herself?
It didn’t matter, Dawn realized. These objects were only memories connected with the past. Dawn quickly placed all the objects back in the box and set the small box on the floor of her closet. It was time to take her first swim alone.